Toni’s Blog

David said we didn’t need a piece of paper to prove our love, and he’d only get married if we had children.  Then I told him I was pregnant and his reaction shocked me...

Tears misted my eyes as I looked at David.

“But you always said we’d get married,” I sobbed.  “You always promised, David, if I became pregnant we’d get married.”

As I finished speaking the hot tears refused to be held back any longer and I buried my face in my hands, giving way to the desperation I felt inside.

David made no move to comfort me - he just went on standing there, his hands clenched into fists at his side.  Dear God, what was I going to do.  The evening I’d planned so carefully was turning into a nightmare and I felt so utterly alone...

“I’m sorry, Lucy.”  His voice, cold and uncaring, seemed to come from a long way off.  “But you did rather spring this on me.  I’ve got to think - got to sort things out.”

Without another word I watched him turn and walk away from me and out of our flat.  The silence he left behind seemed to cover me, cutting me off from the world.  I leaned back in the chair and let the tears run freely from my eyes.  I made no effort to stop them or brush them from my cheeks.  What did it matter what I looked like anyway.  There was no one to see...

Through the window the sun was sinking down in the sky, bathing the room in a golden orange glow.  I’d always loved watching the sunset from our living room - but not any more.  The dreams David and I had shared when we’d first decided to live together lay in scattered fragments all around me.

Oh, David, why do I love you so much, I thought.  But I’d loved him from the moment we met...

It was just a year ago that my flatmate had introduced us.

“Lucy Bryant meet David Gibbs,” she announced.  “Anything but a nine to five man - but lovely with it.”

“What exactly did she mean?” I asked David later.

“It means I don’t like staying put in one place for too long,” he explained.  “This week I’m working in an advertising agency, and last week I was sweeping the stage of the local rep.”

“And next week?”  I queried.

“Still at the agency,” he grinned.  “They like my work and I must admit I like them.  So I shall probably stay there for a while.”

And stay he did.  I’d teased him about it often, but his only reply was to wink and say, “Yes, but when I really love something, I hate to let it go.”

He would take me in his arms then and I’d know his words included me. I couldn’t have stopped myself loving him even if I’d wanted to.  David was everything I needed.  His carefree attitude to life and work was well-balanced by his quiet strength and gentle, loving nature.  In fact, he was wonderful.

The only thing that worried me was his reluctance to talk about marriage.  We were in love, and to me marriage followed naturally.

We’d discussed it early on in our relationship.  Just before we’d started to live together, actually.

“I don’t see it’s really necessary,” David said seriously one night.  “If you love someone then surely a piece of paper to wave at the world doesn’t matter that much.”

“But what about children?” I’d asked.  “Wouldn’t it matter then?”

“Ah, now that’s different,” he’d agreed.  “Kids need a steady home with a mum and dad.  But that’s the only reason I think I’d get married.”

I’d been very puzzled by his views, but the subject was obviously closed and we only spoke about it once more.  And that was when we agreed not to get married.

I wanted to be with David so much, I honestly didn’t mind about the wedding ceremony.  The only thing that raised a doubt in my mind was if we started a family - but David had said that would be different.

Oh, if only I’d waited a little while longer before moving in with him - found out more about David first...

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