Toni’s Blog

My past was nothing to be proud of and I’d done everything I could to bury it good and deep.  But it refused to stay buried and now it was threatening to ruin my new life...

I was about halfway along the alley when I heard soft footsteps behind me.  I forced myself to keep walking, not to look back.  It wasn’t much further to the main road, then I’d be safe.  I could just make out the reflection of the street lights beyond the growing shadows.

Suddenly the lights weren’t there any longer.  The black silhouette of a man was standing in the archway, blocking the light.

The footsteps behind me came closer, and then I heard a voice that made my blood run cold.

“Hello, Janine.”

I spun around, fear knotted like a hard ball inside me as I looked into Rod Brookman’s darkly handsome face.

“Rod...” I gasped.  “I thought...”

“That I was still inside?” he laughed bitterly.  “Not any more, love, good conduct and all that.  I’m not here for a loving reunion though, and I won’t ask why you ran out on me.  This is strictly business.  Zac’s business!”

I took a step backwards, away from the menace in Rod’s quiet, controlled voice.  Then I felt strong hands grip my arms, cutting off my escape.  I didn’t have to be told that it was the man who’d been at the end of the alley.

“Please, Rod...” I whispered.  I tried to struggle but those hands on my arms were like a vice.  “I can’t...”

“Yes you can,” Rod said coldly.  “You promised Zac, and you know better than to break a promise to him.”

“That was three years ago.  Things are different now,” I pleaded.  “I’ve finished with that kind of life.”

“Ah, of course, the boyfriend,” Rod went on with a sneer in his voice.  “Barry.  The nice steady, reliable sort.  Give you a home, will he?  Kids?  All the things a nice girl wants from life.”

Suddenly Rod’s hand shot out and grabbed my hair.  With one sharp movement he jerked my head back, bringing his face to within inches of mine.

“Only you’re not a nice girl, are you, Janine?” he taunted.  “And no matter how much you try, you never will be.”

Tears blurred my eyes and my heart pounded with fear.

“Please, Rod, you’re hurting!”

“Hurting!”  He laughed cruelly.  “Oh, sweetheart, this is only a taste of what’s to come if you let Zac down.  But first we’ll use the photos.  You know the ones, don’t you?  The sort you can only buy in certain bookshops.  The ones specially reserved for the dirty mac brigade.  So make sure you’re at the warehouse or your precious boyfriend gets to see what his future wife used to do for a living!”

Rod twisted his fingers through my hair until he’d got a firm grip.  Then he nodded to the gorilla behind me.  Suddenly my arms were free, but before I could move them Rod swung me around by my hair.  My shoulder hit the wall a split second before Rod banged my head against the bricks.

“Remember, Janine, this is just a gentle reminder.  Let Zac down over this job and next time it’ll be for real!”

As Rod flung me away from him my knees buckled under me and I fell full length.  I was shaking with terror and sobbing with pain.  Carefully I dragged myself into a sitting position and only then dared to look behind me.  The alleyway was empty.

Tears streamed down my face as I leaned against the wall.  For three years I’d worked so hard to put the past behind me, to start a new life - a decent life.

Memories flooded back as I started the long, painful walk home...     

I’d been seventeen when it all began, and heavily in debt.

For as long as I could remember I’d lived in one foster home after another, and all through my growing-up years I’d longed for one thing - a home and family I could really call my own.

Then, just after my sixteenth birthday, I decided it was time to go it alone.  Filled with optimism and excitement I set out for London and all the opportunities a big city has to offer.

At first it was great.  I got a job and rented a two-roomed flat.  Life was looking good, and my hopes were running high.  Yet living in London wasn’t cheap and soon I was having to dip into my savings to make ends meet.

I cut down as much as I could, but slowly my debts started to mount up.  No matter how I tried I could never quite get straight.  As soon as one bill was paid another came through the letter box and I was worse off than before.

So I was at a really low ebb when I saw the ad in the evening paper.  I stared at it for a long time...

MODELS WANTED URGENTLY!  Top rates for the right girls.  Evening work.

I was quite attractive with a reasonable figure, and if I could earn some money on the side I’d be able to make my wages stretch a bit further.

The pile of final demands on the mantelpiece was what finally made up my mind.  With the problems I had, anything was worth a try.  The following day I rang and made an appointment to see Zac Goldberg...

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